Scott and Glenn went on a fishing trip. They rented all the equipment: reels, rods, wading suits, rowboat, car, even a cabin in the woods. They spent a fortune.

The first day they went fishing and didn't catch anything. The same thing happened on the second day and the third. It went on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, Scott caught a fish. Driving home they were really depressed.

Scott turned to Glenn and said, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred dollars?"

Glenn replied, "Wow! It's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"

Three Rings

What are the three rings in marriage?

Engagement Ring
Wedding Ring
Suffering

Trying to control my dry hair, I treated my scalp with olive oil before washing it. Worried that the oil might leave an odor, I washed my hair several times.

That night when I went to bed, I leaned over to my husband and asked, "Do I smell like olive oil"?

"No," he said, sniffing me. "Do I smell like Popeye"?

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up.

She smiled and told me not to worry, because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands.

"Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"

Two tourists were driving through Louisiana.

As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.

As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the employee, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are, very slowly"?

The guy leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrrrrgerrrrrrr Kiiiiing."

The holiday bowl games were in full swing and we had invited some other football fans over.

One couple brought their active two-year-old son, who began playing with a dish that was filled with antique buttons. After a few near disasters, my husband quietly removed the temptation.

The next morning, I realized the bowl was gone and went upstairs. "Don, where is the button bowl"? I asked my just-awakening husband.

"Gee, I don't know for sure," replied my spouse, who prides himself on knowing the answer to any sports trivia question.

"I think it's in Florida."

The following conversation took place one morning between a wife and her now ex-husband. They were discussing government cost cuts they recently heard about in the newspaper.

"Honey," his wife said, while reading the newspaper, "it looks like our government is going to cut overhead and trim down the military forces. They are going to retire six overaged destroyers."

To which the husband replies, "Oh, I'm sorry to hear your mother will be out of work."