Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you
with experience.

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until
you hear them speak.

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a
fruit salad.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole
box to start a campfire?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but
check when you say the paint is wet?

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful
man is usually another woman.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you
will look forward to the trip.