Marriage Humour

Wife: 'What are you doing?'

Husband: Nothing.

Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage

certificate for an hour.'

Husband: 'I was looking for the expiry date.'

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Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'

Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'

Wife: 'Yes or no.'

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Stress Reliever
Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries,

troubles and lighten your burden.'

Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries

or troubles.'

Girl: 'We ll that's because we aren't married yet.'

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A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'

'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'

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A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me,

my pretty face or my sexy body?'

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your

sense of humor!'

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Husbands are husbands

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit

him round the
Head with a frying pan.
'What was that for?' the man asked.
The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with

the name Jenny on
It that I found in your pants pocket'.
The man then said 'When I was at the races last week

Jenny was the name
Of the horse I bet on'
The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife

bashes him on the
head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
Wife replied. 'Your horse phoned'