A golfer was poised over his tee shot for ages. ‘For goodness sake, hurry up’ said his partner.
‘But my wife is watching from the club house. I want to make the perfect shot.’
‘Forget it- you’ll never hit her from here.’

Two golfers went to se the professional at their club.
‘Can you give me any tips?’ asked one of the men as he stood on the practice ground.
The professional said, ‘You’re standing too close to the ball.’
The man’s partner added: ‘After you’ve hit it.’

Finding his ball in deep rough, a golfer took an almighty swing but stuck nothing more than a divot. He swung again, missed the ball again and got another big chunk of turf. Just then two ants climbed on the ball saying ‘Let’s get up here before we get killed!’