* Shine a flashlight into one ear. If the beam shines out the other ear, do not go into the woods alone.
* A two-man pup tent does not include two men or a pup.
* A potato baked in the coals for three hours makes an excellent hockey puck.
* In emergency situations, you can survive in the wilderness by shooting small game with a slingshot made from the elastic waistband of your underwear.
* The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent kindling.
* It's entirely possible to spend your whole vacation on a winding mountain road behind a large motor home.